Love/Hate

I love the NHS. Really, I do. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here. Granted, it took them long enough to get me into the system to get my treatment, but still, without them, things would be very different.

However, I do also hate it. I hate the waiting. For instance, every time I have to go for a haematology appointment, they are running approximately an hour late. I wouldn’t mind if it was every now and again, but it’s every time. Meanwhile, my car park charge is increasing. And, if I have Jake with me, it’s a nightmare because there isn’t anywhere to change him, so I have to leave the haematology unit, make the 5 minute walk to the main hospital to change him, then walk back, at which point, I’ve more than likely been called in.

Tomorrow, I have a hospital appointment. The appointment is at 1345, yet they want me there 10 minutes before. Apparently I can expect to be there for 2 hours, but to prepare to be there all afternoon if I have to see the consultant, but there is no mention in the letter whether I need to see the consultant or not.

I wouldn’t mind, but is my actual appointment really going to take all afternoon, or is the majority of that going to be sat in the waiting room, occasionally being ushered from one place to the other?

Surely there are better ways to organise an appointment system. They’ve spent millions on a new patient record system, but how it’s actually made a difference, I’m yet to find out.

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Leave the Past in the Past

Don’t you just hate busybodies?

Shock, horror, I was engaged once before when I was 22 (at least I *think* I was 22, I’ve blanked a lot of it out). It wasn’t a particularly bad relationship, but his parents were awful. Controlling isn’t the right word, they were worse than that. His mother refusing to speak to him for a week when we said we were going to be living near my parents and not them. His dad hitting him when he refused second hand paint because we wanted to choose our own. His mother getting jealous when he gave me a kiss and a cuddle and wanting one herself. Him being the same age as me and still kissing his mum on the lips. His mother getting funny if she hadn’t spoken to her other married son twice that day.

Anyway, I digress.

This weekend, my parents bumped into an old friend of theirs that also knows the ex and his family and insisted on telling my mum that he was married now (to his brother’s wife identical twin sister) and had two children blah blah blah.

My mum didn’t ask for this information, my mum doesn’t care. She knows perfectly well (and has told me) that I’ve done better for myself.

Why though did this interfering so and so feel the need to tell my mum all of this? My mum didn’t ask. What reaction was she hoping for? Did she expect my mum to fall down onto her knees wailing and crying “That should have been my daughter”? She would have been disappointed if it was.

I have been married for 5 years, surely you would have thought people realised I was over it by now. Am I upset that he’s married with kids? No. A bit weirded out that he married his sister in laws identical twin, maybe, but not upset. In fact, given on how close his mother wants the family to be, it’s ideal for him.

However what does upset me, is that no doubt, word has gotten back to him about me, and what I’m doing, and that I’m married with a child and had cancer blah blah blah. He’s not part of my life anymore for a reason, and I don’t feel like he needs to know about my life, just like I don’t need to know about his.